Friday, July 30, 2010

Scattering to the harm of others...

"He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters." Matthew 12:30

WARNING! This story is not pretty and does not have a happy outcome.
It is a tale of scattering
that takes you to the end result
which was very sad for me.

I told the story of the journey that took me to a point of decision where I was born again here. Before I was born again I led a rather wild life where promiscuity and drunkenness were the two major sins I willingly engaged in as often as possible. I also did much scattering giving hearty approval to those that did the same, and even helped some others engage in unrighteousness.

American culture is covered with movies and stories that make light of wrongdoing palliating the potential consequences of unrighteous actions and painting the actions as fun and something to be sought.

Men like looking at women, I do. We are wired that way. God made women into some of the nicest eye candy a man can know. Men also like seducing women when they don't know better. I did. If a woman walks by a construction site she is usually met with "cat calls". Many of the men on the site give hearty approval to their buddies when they score on a date. It can be a game among them of who can score the most. Many may want to find that ultimate soulmate, but as they say, "when you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Then life may throw curve balls at us. Things may not be as happy on the home front as they could or should be, and opportunity can come a man's way that may cause him to stray if he doesn't know better or have strong moral resolve. Even those that should have known better and should have had strong moral resolve have fallen. We call them hypocrites. It can all be complicated, and they who have disappointed us and not lived up to our expectations can become an excuse to not seek and choose the One that can make a real difference in our lives.

I worked with a flight nurse in the early nineties that was Barbie Doll pretty and is still an attractive woman. Her brother recently told me she has been married 6 or 7 times. He told me they all either cheated on her or beat on her. How sad...

I don't know all the details of her life, but I do know she would have preferred it had not been this way. My spiritual mentor when I was born again told me that I could never expect a relationship to workout unless I got things right with God first. My life's experience have proven the truth of his words to me. I value and love my wife tremendously, but not as much as I value and love my personal relationship with Jesus. He is the giver of all good gifts, and my wife is a very precious gift Jesus has allowed me to know.

One of the best analogies I've heard relating to sex is the comparison of sex to a fire. Fire in a fireplace or a wood stove with a glass door is beautiful, comforting, warm, and serves a useful purpose. Likewise sex in the marriage bed, untainted by the things that can spoil or ruin it, does all the same and more. Take that same fire out of the fireplace or wood stove and put it on the living room couch, and it can become extremely destructive. Likewise, sex out of the marriage bed can also be extremely destructive.

Anyhow... When I was a military instructor pilot at Fort Rucker, Alabama in the late seventies before I was born again I hooked up with an enlisted WAC that worked in a control tower at one of the stage fields I flew at with one of my Army buddies. Visiting my buddy in the tower, I met this WAC. This Army buddy had a real pleasant personality and was a good guy. He was married, but we mutually enjoyed the eye candy that passed us when we were together which is common for many men. I can't remember what brought the WAC and I together for a tryst, but I do remember that she started showing up at my BOQ on a regular basis. I enjoyed playing the field hoping to eventually encounter that ultimate soulmate, and I didn't consider this WAC her. So many times when I had an illicit affair, my heart would flip soon after the initial score and I was soon ready to pursue new conquests. Every now and then one would come along that I liked spending more time with, but something or other would happen to mess it up. I was ready to get this WAC off my back so I could be free to play the field more. My Army buddy was an easy and available mark.

I talked to the WAC about him. He was the tower supervisor she worked in and her superior. She felt he was off limits though he did hold an appeal to her. I knew my buddy liked women even though he was married. I didn't know his wife at that time. I encouraged the WAC to make a move on him telling her she might be surprised. She was fairly aggressive which I knew since she'd show up at my place so many times uninvited. Well she did make a move on my buddy at my encouragement, and he did take advantage of the opportunity that plopped in his lap.

Sometime after that I then ended up being born again and eventually getting out of the Army in 1979. In 1982 I went to work for the government contractor that supplied civilian instructor pilots for the Army. I became an instrument instructor pilot. My old Army buddy had retired from the Army and became a primary instructor pilot for the same company. We reestablished contact. When I got married in November of 83 my wife and I visited my old buddy and even met his wife. His wife loved him. I shared my testimony and how I had changed. Before leaving this job we visited my buddy with my toddler daughter, Joanna. My buddy's daughter who was twelve at that time gave Joanna a toy cow that mooed. I attempted to share Jesus and gather rather than scatter to make up for some of my past scattering.

It is not always easy for people to come to Jesus for one reason or another, and my buddy was comfortable in his lifestyle. I eventually left that job and lost contact with my buddy again.

In the early nineties I worked with a male flight nurse that knew my old Army buddy someway or another. This flight nurse quit my company and went to work for another company in Springfield, Missouri. I think Springfield was his home town. Anyhow I stopped in to visit him once at his new place of work and he told me that my old Army buddy was fixing to take a trip to Springfield for a vacation. Springfield was evidently his hometown too. I gave the nurse my home phone number and told him to tell my old Army buddy to give me a call when he showed up.

I never got that phone call. Several weeks later I was back in Springfield and stopped in to see the nurse I had worked with. I asked him about my old Army buddy. He said, "Before (my buddy's name) made it up here on vacation, his girl friend caught him cheating and shot him in the head killing him dead."

My old Army buddy was still married to a wife that loved him in spite of his faults. He had a daughter that loved him dearly. It wasn't his wife that shot him, but a girl friend because he was cheating with another girl. I don't know for sure, but the girlfriend could quite possibly have been the WAC I caused to hook up with my friend. Though my friend liked looking at the eye candy back when we were in the Army together I don't know that he had ever cheated on his wife before I set the aggressive WAC on him. My shame is incredible. If I could only take back what I had done, I would. This is an extreme case of scattering going wrong, but all scattering has harmful effects. Some of the harmful effects we may never come to know about as we go on with our lives, but for certain our scattering can easily be a link in the chain that causes harm. Even though it may have seemed fun at the time, God wanted me to personally know the harm I helped cause. I now hate scattering with the utmost hatred regardless of the fun and entertainment it may have provided once in my life. Unfortunately I can't take this back. I would trade places with my buddy if it were possible. I deserve to be where he is, not him. All I can do now is my best to never scatter again. I now choose to gather as the opportunities present themselves.

"He who is not with Me is against Me; and he who does not gather with Me scatters."
Matthew 12:30

If you don't have a personal relationship with Jesus, please consider inviting Him into your heart to be the Lord of your life. It is a choice I have never regretted and only wish I had made it sooner.

If you do have a personal relationship with Jesus that needs strengthening, ask Him to cause the growth that strengthens. If He can do it for me, He can and will do it for you.



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